More excerpts from the unpublished book, What is Said, What is Meant by Dr. Frank Blunt of Ann Arbor, MI. 

 

What is said:

I’ll be ready in five minutes, dear!

What is meant:

And in five minutes I’ll need another half hour.

 

What is said:

You’re so funny!

What is meant:

No, you’re not.  Notice I said, “You’re so funny” instead of actually laughing.

 

What is said:

Your baby is so adorable!

What is meant:

If you think Klingons are cute.

 

What is said:

Can I help you, officer?

What is meant:

Please don’t look into my eyes.  Please don’t make me step out of the car.  Please don’t make me open my trunk.

 

What is said:

Wow!  You’ve lost a lot of weight!

What is meant:

Wow!  You used to be a fat ass!

 

What is said:

That wasn’t so bad now, was it?

What is meant:

You are going to be in so much pain tomorrow.

 

What is said:

You look tired.

What is meant:

You look like shit.

 

What is said:

With all due respect…

What is meant:

The next words out of my mouth are absolutely a criticism.

 

What is said:

He doesn’t bite.

What is meant:

Unless you continue to annoy the shit out of him.

 

What is said:

I blame myself.

What is meant:

This is your cue to disagree with me.

 

What is said:

That was less than stellar.

What is meant:

It sucked.

 

What is said:

You can’t have your cake and eat it, so you have to step up to the plate and face the music.

What is meant:

????

smile4