Excerpt from the Larry King Live interview on CNN with Seek Therapy creator, Rob Carroll:

 

LARRY KING:  So, Rob, what’s this we’re hearing about Seek Therapy being canceled?

ROB CARROLL:  It’s just a rumor, Larry.  Just a rumor.

LARRY:  Then why are you here?

ROB:  Well…just in case the rumor is true, I’m attempting to market Seek Therapy to another internet provider.  Just in case that ugly rumor is true, mind you.

LARRY:  Let’s assume it is canceled.

ROB:  We’re just assuming, of course.

LARRY:  Of course.  In case it is canceled and it’s not picked up by another internet provider, can you please share with my audience the reason or reasons why Seek Therapy was canceled in the first place?

ROB:  Good question, Larry.  Now let me ask you a question.  If a freight train is leaving Pittsburgh headed west at 6AM going 80 mph, and a passenger train is leaving Chicago headed east at 7AM going 90 mph, what time is lunch served on the passenger train?

LARRY:  I dunno.  12:30?

ROB:  It’s a trick question, Larry.  The passenger train is only serving a lite brunch.

LARRY:  Now let me ask you something…

ROB:  No…let me ask you something.

LARRY:  This is my show and I’ll ask the questions.

ROB:  Fine!  Mother always did like you best!

LARRY:  What the hell is that supposed to mean?

ROB:  Ask your mother.

LARRY:  Why is Seek Therapy being discontinued?  Ratings are up…

ROB:  Yeah, the rumors are true.  Our current internet provider has dropped us.  I’m not sure why.  I think it was that issue when I somewhat dissed the Catholic Church.  I said Pope Benedict XVI bought an NFL football team.  The press asked, “Which one?”  And the Vatican responded, “Well, now New York will call them Bennie and the Jets.  The morning after that Seek Therapy was sent out, I awoke at 4AM when someone threw a Bible through my bedroom window.

LARRY:  That must have been a heavy Bible!

ROB:  It was attached to an anvil.  The guy who threw it threw his back out and was in agony on my front lawn.  I think he’s still there.  My family and I call him “Whiny.”

LARRY:  I was surprised you weren’t canceled after issue #14 where you examined the journals of past U.S. presidents.  That was easily your most crude issue.*

ROB:  Yeah, that was a good laugh.  Bill Clinton still won’t speak to me.

LARRY:  We’re sorry to see Seek Therapy go, Rob.  You’ve provided hundreds of laughs…at least in your own mind.

ROB:  It was a good run.  It started way, way back in March 2003.  Times were different then.  It was Bush’s first term in the Oval office.  The White House and the religious right were a bit more to the left then.  Just a bit.  I miss those days.  Also…back then I had ripped abs under this flab here.

LARRY:  Please tuck your plaid shirt back in.

ROB:  This isn’t my shirt.

LARRY:  Hideous.

ROB:  Quick question…has anyone ever mentioned you look like a lizard?

LARRY:  No.

ROB:  Oh……….uh………I was just wondering.

 

*Editor’s Note:  I have deleted that issue since back in 2003 it brought me a lot of angry e-mails.  It was very crude and quite frankly not very funny.  Also, in May 2005 as I wrapped up my job at the time, I was considering ending Seek Therapy. Unfortunately for you, the reader, it returned about a month later.