For the 100th issue, the original plan was to conduct a roundtable discussion of Seek Therapy with such distinguished intellectuals as Dan Rather, Dennis Miller and that really smart dude from CSI…but this fell through when none of the people I contacted even heard of Seek Therapy.  I then attempted to contact Paris Hilton to see if she would like to discuss Seek Therapy or possibly perform for everyone by doing a couch dance followed by shooting diamonds out of her ass or something to that effect.  When her agent didn’t call back, I called Oprah Winfrey’s agent who said she’d be delighted to shoot diamonds out of her ass but her schedule was full.  I then called 14 other celebrities’ agents and was told the same, although Martha Stewart said she’d perform the diamond anal expulsion as long as she could then spend a half hour selling her worthless crap from prison.  I said no thanks.

 

Instead, some fans of Seek Therapy have come to the rescue to offer their insight and opinions on some of the first 99 issues:

 

Sam Hamstring, 42, of Burlington, VT: Even though I don’t think Seek Therapy is very funny (I’m a Christian, you know) I’d have to say my favorite ST had to have been the one where Rob was making fun of George W. Bush.  What a great idea to poke fun of the president during an election year.  So original.  Made me chuckle.  Yeah.  I wonder if anyone else in the entertainment world ever thought to satirize Bush in ’04.

 

Debbie Stiles, 64, of Austin, TX: My favorite Seek Therapy was the one where the Grim Reaper knocks on John Kerry’s door.  Kerry freaks out.  “Oh my God!  Am I dead?”  And the Grim Reaper responds, “No, but your chances of being the 2008 presidential nominee are, ya lanky stiff!”  Ha! Ha!  That was really funny.  Until I read that I had never considered John Kerry to be boring.  I guess he is, huh?

 

Josh Bordeaux, 6, of Boise, ID: My mommy reads me Seek Therapy every week.  My favorite issue was the one where God says he’ll strike down anyone who doesn’t like his next joke.  So he tells the joke and all the angels and souls laugh even though it’s not funny.  God turns around to see that Vincent Van Gogh didn’t laugh.  “Why art thou not laughing?” God asked.  “What?” asked the artist.  “I said, ‘Why art thou not laughing?’” God repeated.  “What’s that?” responded Van Gogh.  God crossed his arms.  “I asked why the hell you weren’t laughing at my joke?!” He yelled.  “I can’t hear you,” said Van Gogh.  “I chopped off my ear, ya know, and I’ve got this finger stuck in my other ear.  “Oh yeah!” laughed God.  “I forgot you chopped your friggin’ ear off, ya crazy galoot!  Ha! Ha! Ha!  By the way, get that finger out of yer ear.  You don’t know where it’s been.” Oh, that made me pee an entire puddle, let me tell you.

 

Sherie Bender, 30, of Los Angeles, CA: The best Seek Therapy was definitely the one where Burgess Meredith survives a nuclear holocaust and now has plenty of time to read the books he’s never had time to read.  And then, what a great twist, he accidentally breaks his glasses in the last scene!  Here he is with all the time in the world to read, and now he can’t because he’s blind as a bat without his glasses.  Great, great episode!  What?  That was The Twilight Zone?  Oh.  Then what the hell is Seek Therapy?

 

Peter Blessington, 92, of Portland, ME: I’m rather old and very feeble, but I look forward to my weekly dose of Seek Therapy cause it makes me laugh and when I laugh my false teeth fall out of what’s left of my mouth.  There was this one issue with Bill Clinton that really made me guffaw.  Hillary says to him, “Bill, you always told me that you would never cheat on the woman you love.”  “Yeah?” says Clinton.  “So?”  “So how come you’ve cheated on me 67 times?”  Bill chuckles.  “Cause you ain’t the woman I love, ya cold, heartless, conniving bitch!” he says.  Not only did my teeth fall out of my mouth, I laughed so hard that my sphincter dropped out of my ass!

 

Wendy Caruso, 39, of Wilmington, DE: Thank you, Rob, for 100 issues of Seek Therapy!  I’ve only read 3 or 4 and the ones I’ve read weren’t that funny, but still it’s more fun to read this crap than Reader’s Digest or something more substantial.  Anyway, my favorite issue was the one where Winnie the Pooh asks Christopher Robin, “I understand the name Winnie but what the %*@!* is this ‘Pooh’ nonsense?”  Christopher Robin replies, “I gave you the nickname cause when my parents bought you for me, the first thing I did was have a bowel movement, by Jove, and proceeded to wipe my ass with you.  For the first three days you were known as Winnie the Watery Skidmark but in my infinite wisdom I decided to shorten it to ‘Pooh’.  Now shut yer honey hole and make me laugh.”