Some fans of Seek Therapy take a look back at the first 49 issues:

 

Bill Howitzer, 33, of Lexington, KY: My favorite Seek Therapy had to have been the one where the FBI captured Joey Klotz, the man responsible for causing all “gaper delays” on every major highway in the United States.  “I can’t help myself,” Mr. Klotz admitted to authorities soon after a ritual cop beating. “You see an accident on the other side of the road, and, and, you just have to stop to see if there is any blood or dismemberment or something!  Stuff like that just makes my day.”  Amazingly, Klotz was apprehended while dispersing funds at an ATM machine in a local supermarket, causing quite a backup there as well.  The world will certainly be a better place without simpletons like Klotz slowing us down!

 

Neil Dodge, 78, of Miami, FL: My favorite Seek Therapy was the one where Martha Stewart is writing in her diary.  She says she’s sorry for lying to the government and the American people but she’s not sorry for pushing hundreds of thousands of stupid ass ideas for recipes, wreaths, bows, needlework and other “worthless crap” upon those same Americans!  “Americans are stupid, stupid people,” she wrote.  “They needed some ogre bitch like me to show them how to tie a f*#!&! knot and how to make f*#!&! gravy, and I did it and now I’m a zillionaire and Americans are still stupid!”  Stupid and free, you convict!

 

Tracy Brown, 52, of Intercourse, PA: The best Seek Therapy was definitely the one where God comes down to Earth and tells the United States of America that he’s a Democrat.  Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton drops his pants, whips out his man-tool and cries out, “Well, things are looking up!”  Reminded me of the 90s.

 

Rudy Ferogi, 47, of Houston, TX: The best Seek Therapy was definitely the one where the kindergarten kids are arrested because they’re pretending their thumbs and forefingers are guns and they’re shooting toy dinosaurs.  “What the hell is going on around here?” cried Billy Gindin, as he was being handcuffed and strip-searched.  “I’m only 5-years-old!”  Amen, Mr. Carroll!  Showing Americans, especially daycare and grade schoolteachers, that not every kid is going to grow up and cause the next Columbine!  This great country has become so f*#!&! uptight you can shove coal up America’s ass and pull out a diamond!  Makes me sick!  I’m so depressed I’m gonna go out and shoot some empty soup cans in my backyard with my flat-matted handgun!

 

Debbie Parker, 26, of Wilmington, DE: My favorite Seek Therapy had to have been the one where the two monkeys are sitting in a diner, discussing Bush and the First Amendment and how the American government seems to be spending way too much time and energy cracking down on disc jockeys and (CENSORED) entertainers rather than the (CENSORED) al-Quaeda!  Who gives a (CENSORED) about (CENSORED) (CENSORED) when there are more important matters to deal with such as this jobless (CENSORED) and the (CENSORED) that Bush continues to (CENSORED) when everything is getting outsourced to (CENSORED) and (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) and (CENSORED) and (CENSORED).  So funny!

 

Linda Lusardi, 4, of Green Bay, WI: My favorite Seek Therapy was the one where God comes down to Earth and tells the United States that…that…this one was already mentioned?  Oh, sorry.  Honestly, I’m only four-years-old.  I can barely read Hop On Pop.  OK?  You think I’m going to read this Seek Therapy crap?  Hold on, someone’s at my door.  Looks like it’s the police again!  Listen!  I made an “OK” sign with my thumb and forefinger!  It was not a gun!  Shit!  I gotta get outta here!