On average, cats are smarter than dogs, scientists say.  In a recent nationwide test, dogs scored slightly higher than cats in math skills, but cats scored much higher in English and verbal skills than dogs.  Woofy, age 3, a Scotch terrier from Boston, commented on the test:  “It wasn’t very difficult, but I had a hard time holding the pencil.”

 

Movie critics from around the country have determined that there are only 98 Dalmatians in the 1961 Walt Disney cartoon, 101 Dalmations.  Roy Disney commented on the discovery:  “I looked it up in my uncle’s memoirs.  He wrote they had overbudgeted drastically so they had to cut corners here and there.”  Critics have also discovered that there were only six dwarfs in the classic with Snow White and only ten angry men in the courtroom drama starring Henry Fonda.

 

Scientists have proven that in the early days of film, the film quality was just as good as it is today.  “People just walked a lot faster back then and it was always cloudy,” says Dr. Thomas Sallo, the head of the investigation at UCLA.  “People slowed down by the 1930s, but the sun didn’t come out until 20 minutes into The Wizard of Oz.”

 

Scientists have determined that there is a reason why old people drive so slowly.  “We have discovered a new disease called Annoyingitis,” said Dr. Marsha Kempshaw.  The doctor explained that senior citizens’ right feet go numb after sixty years of age, so when they think they’re flooring the gas pedal, they’re actually not even in the car.