From the 2010 “Bring Your Child To Work Day” at Matrix Marketing in Albany, NY.  We see DENISE from HR standing before a dozen kids, ages 8-12, who are seated at a table with their Mom or Dad.  HANNA, age 8, is attempting to hold her breath.

 

DENISE:  Thanks for joining us, parents!  Your kids just worked on a questionnaire about you and now they would like to share some of their answers.  Ready, kids?

KIDS:  Ready!

DENISE:  The first question was…when your Mommy or Daddy was a kid, what did they want to be when they grew up?  Billy?

BILLY:  My Daddy wanted to be a fireman!

DENISE:  Nice!  Emily?

EMILY:  My Mommy wanted to be the president of the United States!

DENISE:  Wow!  That’s great.  Tommy?

TOMMY:  My Daddy wanted to be in prostitutes!

DENISE:  Excuse me?

TOMMY’S DAD:  Uh…that’s prosthetics, Tommy.  I wanted to grow up and make prosthetics for amputees.  Ever since your Grandpa lost his arm in the Vietnam War.

DENISE:  Ah, I see.  Miranda?

MIRANDA:  When my Daddy was little, he wanted to grow up to be a drug dealer.

MIRANDA’S DAD:  A pharmacist!  I said I wanted to be a pharmacist!

EMILY:  My Mommy said she no longer wanted to be the president of the United States because she deals with so much politics here at work.

EMILY’S MOM:  Ha ha ha!  Emily!  Mommy said no such thing!

BILLY:  Where are the donkeys, Daddy?

BILLY’S DAD:  Excuse me?

BILLY:  You told Mommy the other night you spend half your days kissing people’s donkeys.  Where do you guys keep them?

BILLY’S DAD:  What are you talking about?

EMILY:  My Mommy said the same thing to my Daddy!  She says she spends half her days kissing people’s donkeys!  But she calls them asses.

EMILY’S MOM:  Emily!

DENISE:  Hanna?  Why are you holding your breath?

HANNA:  I’mtryingnottobreathe!

DENISE:  Why?

HANNA:  MyMommysaysthisplacesucksthelifeoutofyousoI’mtrying toholdmybreath!

HANNA’S MOM:  Hanna!  Ha ha!  What an imagination!  Ha ha!

TOMMY:  My Daddy told his poker buddies that he spends a lot of money on prosthetics when Mommy goes away on business trips.

TOMMY’S DAD:  Tommy!

EMILY:  Hey, Mommy!  You’re a liar!  These ceilings aren’t made of glass!

EMILY’S MOM:  Emily!

HANNA:  Mommy?  Where are all the mints?

HANNA’S MOM:  What mints?

HANNA:  You said there were all kinds of harass mints here at work.  Can I have one?

HANNA’S MOM:  Heh, heh!  My daughter sure is funny today!

MIRANDA:  My Dad’s biggest dream now is to win the lottery so he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life sitting in a stupid cubicle, living paycheck to paycheck, watching his dreams and aspirations slowly die like our front lawn does every summer.

DENISE:  Miranda!  You shouldn’t say such things about your father.

MIRANDA’S DAD:  No…I did say that.  On the way to work this morning, actually.  Um…did you say it’s break time???

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