From a recently aired interview on CNN with Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry:

CNN: Senator Kerry, thank you for joining us.

KERRY: It’s my pleasure, er, your pleasure. Uh, my pleasure before your pleasure. So I’ve been told. Before the vote that is.

CNN: Senator, what the hell are you talking about?

KERRY: Never you mind. It’s a secret between top European leaders and myself. Top leaders who would love to see me in the White House come 2005.

CNN: Would you be willing to let the American public know who these European leaders are?

KERRY: I wish to apologize for that remark about the European leaders. It was taken out of context.

CNN: How was it out of context? You just made the remark 10 seconds ago.

KERRY: And you took it out of context. I don’t even know any European leaders. How could I have made such a statement? That’s what I hate about the media. The stinkin’ liberal media!

CNN: Senator, the “stinkin’ liberal media”, as you just called us, has been backing you from day one. Well, since we realized that Howard Dean was George McGovern revisited.

KERRY: Who called you a “stinkin’ liberal media”?

CNN: You did. About 10 seconds ago.

KERRY: It was taken out of context. I meant to say that top European leaders are stinkin’ liberals.

CNN: Senator, the population of the United States is now one-third non-white. President Bush has appointed African-Americans, Asians, Latinos and women to senior and non-stereotypical roles: Secretary of State, National Security Adviser, Transportation Secretary and White House Counsel. So far, Senator, no one in your campaign’s innermost circle is of color. How do you respond?

KERRY: Excellent point. This is why I’ve been telling President Bush to “bring it on!”

CNN: Bring what on? What are you talking about?

KERRY: I want the American people to know that John Kerry voted for tax cuts and increases in school spending and the military.

CNN: Was this before or after you voted for monumental tax increases and slashing school and military budgets?

KERRY: Er, the John Kerry campaign is committed to diversity. We are building our general election campaign and it will be reflective of the diversity of the Democratic Party and of America.

CNN: Meaning?

KERRY: I better get my ass outta here and go hire some minorities for my goddamn campaign before some stinkin’ liberal European leaders get wind of this!

To be continued…