Excerpt from The Cat-Scanned Emails by Max Werther, 28, a per diem proctologist of Wilmington, NC:

 

From:  Max

To: Lynn@honey.com

Subject:  Tonight

 

I have to pick up my shirts at the dry cleaners on the way home.  What say chicken soft tacos tonight?  What say?

 

Ham called.  Seems that Ophie’s joined a cult.  She shaved her kitty head and has braided her tail and is now at the airport handing out lilies and pamphlets, spreading the word of Allah or Buddah or someone whose name ends in “ah”.  I told Ham that this was not acceptable.  He hung up and hopped on the bed, not a care in the world running through his small head.  I’m taking a long lunch to drive down to the airport and march our little girl’s ass right the hell home!  (We simply have to bring down their toys from the apartment before things really get out of hand!)