• A lifeguard wearing floaties around his arms?
  • An orthodontist whose mouth and teeth resemble Gomer Pyle’s?
  • A dermatologist plagued with golf ball sized pimples, blackheads, Psoriasis and dandruff?
  • A proctologist with long fingernails?
  • A marriage counselor who, during your first session with him, receives a phone call from his divorce lawyer?
  • An accountant who chuckles as he reviews your W-2’s?
  • A daycare instructor whose favorite movie is Patton?
  • A psychiatrist whose desk is covered with photographs of his mother?
  • A boyfriend who says, “Women may be able to fake orgasms…but men can fake entire relationships”?
  • A girlfriend who says, “The last thing I want to do is hurt you…but it’s still on the list”?
  • Anyone who says to you, “You’re so funny” after everything you say?  And they’re not even laughing as they say it??
  • A movie critic who says, “Any movie starring Ben Affleck is a must-see?”
  • A parent who says, “This will hurt you more than it hurts me.  No, wait…I think I got that backwards”?
  • A male nurse who says, “Turn your head and cough” more than once?
  • A co-worker who greets you each morning with “So…you’re still here, huh?”?
  • A jeweler who, after you point out the ring you’d like to purchase for your loved one, replies, “Really?  Are you serious?”?
  • An accountant who leaves his office for the day and returns to house arrest?
  • A proctologist who says, “If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong”?
  • An OB/GYN who doesn’t know what OB/GYN means?
  • Your A.A. counselor, when asked how long he has been sober, replies, “What time is it?”?
  • A writer who writes nothing but crap for his stupid blog each and every week and finds that he’s the only one laughing when he reads it??

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